


Pain Is All We Have

by pommedhappy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy is trapped in there, Clarke didn't press the button, Everyone is in the City of Lights, M/M, the key isn't working on him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9565319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pommedhappy/pseuds/pommedhappy
Summary: Bellamy stands by the window, watching the buildings before him. He’s now in the big City of Lights, without understanding what all the fuss about it was. Apparently he’s the only one. He's also the only one not being affected by the key. And, he still feels pain. It still hurts to think about his mom and his sister, and the way he let them down all this months ago.“Erasing your pain would make you useless,” A.L.I.E explains. “However, I analyzed the options and decided to try another approach. I am not conceived to comprehend all of the variables, but the probability of this experiment to succeed is relatively high.”





	1. Chapter 1

Bellamy stands by the window, watching the buildings before him. Everything is so grey, and dull, so different from the trees and all the green he learned to associate with the Earth. He guesses it’s civilization, what Earth looked like before the third world war, but he’s not really keen of it. Especially when he didn’t have the choice… They fought till the end, but apparently you can’t win against an A.I who doesn’t understand the basic of human feelings. 

He’s now in the big City of Lights, without understanding what all the fuss about it was. Apparently he’s the only one, because he saw Clarke, on the first day he was there. The blond girl looked so happy, walking with her mom and Kane, like a perfectly happy family. The sight made him want to scream at first, his friend not being herself anymore, and he almost tried to shake her until she remembers her past life. But then he started to think that maybe, after all the drama and pain she had to live through, she deserved a little bit of happiness. Even if this happiness was only artificial. 

He doesn’t understand why he seems to be the only one not being affected by A.L.I.E. All his friends are quite content with their new life, but they also look like a part of themselves is missing, like they’re not whole anymore. But he’s not. He remembers everything, from the Ark to the Ground. He still feels pain. It still hurts to think about his mom and his sister, and the way he let them down all this months ago. His only comfort is to see Octavia smile again, even if she forgot why she lost it in the first place. But his sister isn’t here right now, because their keeper needed her in the real life, and Bellamy is kind of bored. He doesn’t understand why he’s the only one not being able to leave this fantasy world, either.

“Because I can’t trust you.” 

A.L.I.E. is here. Bellamy doesn’t need to turn back to see her, red dress and empty eyes. The monotone voice still makes him cringe, and he hears it a lot, the A.I. visiting him far too often for his liking. 

“After analyzing all of my data, I finally came to a conclusion for the fail of the key when it comes to you. My calculations show that I would have to erase the memory of your sister for you not to feel any pain and completely embraces the City of Lights.”

“But you tried and failed,” he finally look around and finds the A.I. watching him, tilting its head like it doesn’t comprehend what he’s trying to say. “You wouldn’t wait for my consent. So, I’m guessing you tried and failed. You can’t erase the memory of my sister, because she’s everything to me, she made me who I am. Being her big brother is what I am. If you remove that, I’m nothing but a hollow shell.” 

“Erasing your pain would make you useless,” it agrees. Well, as much as a computer can agree, anyway. “I analyzed the options and decided to try another approach. I am not conceived to comprehend all of the variables, but the probability of this experiment to succeed is relatively high.”

“What the hell are you…” Bellamy gasps when he suddenly feels the ground beneath his feet disappears. It only lasts a fraction of second, and then he’s in the street, facing a coffee shop. “How did you do that?”

“Enter,” is the only answer he receives. 

He doesn’t want to play A.L.I.E. little games, but he’s also quite curious about its new attempt to change him into a good little soldier. Nothing worked until now, he doesn’t know why the computer doesn’t admit defeat already. Shrugging while smirking at the woman in red, he enters the shop. 

There’s nothing exceptional about it; a few tables, a counter and big blackboards with white writing describing special coffees. He still doesn’t get why he absolutely had to be here, but well… He should at least enjoy a little reward. The macchiato is the only thing he came to love in this virtual world. If he’s honest with himself, he probably felt in love with the coffee, and that’s probably the only thing that he would miss. 

“Could you be ever slower? Give me my coffee so I can get the hell out.” Bellamy would recognize that voice everywhere, especially when it still sounds so angry. A feeling that seems to disappear these days. 

“Murphy?” He calls. The boy turns his head at that, surprise in his eyes, before the light blue darkens. “Bellamy? I swear if you’re one of those blissful morons who want to hug me and say that everything is forgiven, I will hit you.” 

“Nice to see you’re still as charming.” The words are out of his mouth before he can think about them, but that only makes Murphy smirk. “And you’re still… you.” Blue eyes rake his body from head to toe. “So, no hug? I guess I can live with that.” With a last little smile Murphy pushes past him, heading for the door. Bellamy watches him open it and trying to get out until he groans in pain as if he just hits a wall. 

“What the…? I’m done with this bullshit!” He screams, throwing his mug at the entrance. Bellamy expects it to bund on the invisible wall but the mug flies in the air, and finally crashes on the sidewalk outside the building. This only seems to anger Murphy more. “I’ll destroy you, fucking machine! Let me go!”

“So, you’re not in the A.L.I.E fan club either, huh?!” Bellamy crosses his arms over his chest, a smirk on his lips. “Please, the bitch is trying to turn me into one of her zombies since day one.”

“Yeah, I understand the feeling.” Bellamy sits at one of the bench, watching Murphy curiously, wondering if the younger man will join him or try to break through the invisible wall. But he must realize he won’t leave until A.L.I.E is satisfied, because he finally sits with a sigh in front of Bellamy.

“Why hadn’t she succeeded at turning you into one, by the way?” Murphy raises an eyebrow, looking at him challengingly. “I should ask you the same. Actually, what tell me you’re not part of her squad, trying to mess with me?”

“Always so trusting…” The cold glare he receives almost gives him chills. “Yeah, because you always had my back in the past…” His voice is filled with venom and he doesn’t need to elaborate; Bellamy knows his deflections to Murphy. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I know we had our issues, but recently… We worked well together, in this elevator, don’t you agree?” Murphy rolls his eyes, but the playfulness is back in them. “I guess we did.”

“We always work well together. When we’re not being dicks to each other… so maybe we should collaborate to get out of here.” Murphy eyes him for a moment, and Bellamy is pretty sure the younger man is going to refuse, so he keeps talking. “A.L.I.E. can’t turn off my pain, because it’s so profound that she can’t take it off of me. Therefore, she can’t completely control my mind, no matter what. Apparently pain is also a large part of me. Is it the same for you?”

Murphy seems to hesitate for a seconds before sighing. “Fine. If we’re going to talk about some serious shit, I’ll need a drink.” Bellamy raises an eyebrow, “you do know that they don’t sell alcohol in a coffee shop, right?” But the younger man looks at him like he’s suddenly doubting his mental capacities, “you do know that nothing in this is real, right? The key only acts on your brain to make you feel like you’re drinking coffee.”

Oh. Bellamy actually never thought about that. It makes sense, really, and he’s a bit ashamed not to have figure it all before. “But, how do we stay alive if we don’t really eat?” Murphy just shrugs, but there’s the beginning of a smug smile on his lips. “I’m guessing we’re probably hooked up to a drip administering intravenous fluids somewhere. Which I don’t understand, really. Why would she go to all that trouble to keep me alive?”

“It’s pretty obvious it needs all of us for something. Maybe it has decided you had a great role in its scenario.” The younger man throws him an unimpressed look, and stands before going straight to the counter, pushing the customers on his way. Bellamy watches him jump over said counter and hitting the barista to the ground so he can make himself a coffee. The barista gets back on his feet, and tries to pursue his job as if Murphy wasn’t there, but the younger man just pushes him again. That’s when Bellamy sees it. He’s expecting anger, or shouting, but the man just freezes, starring at Murphy like he doesn’t see him, and staying completely motionless. Actually, everyone in the coffee shop seems motionless, and there is not a sound beside the machine grinding the beans. Then Murphy finishes the drinks, returning to the customers side, and the barista just takes back his place, like nothing happened. He smiles at the next customer, and everyone seems to come back to life.

“What the hell was that?” He asks as soon as Murphy sits again in front of him. “They doesn’t know how to react when things go out of scenario. They can’t express anger, because they don’t even know what that feeling is, anymore. The key doesn’t just invade their minds to make them obedient workers on the outside, it doesn’t just bring them in this city where they can be happy and do whatever they like. Everything is scripted, A.L.I.E. makes sure of it. She doesn’t like the random things, she really doesn’t, believe me. I made a tantrum when I first arrived, so to speak, and she let me alone in a dark small room for what seemed to be an eternity, as a punishment.” The younger man gives him one of the cup he made, drinking in his, and Bellamy just watches the dark liquid, baffled. 

He never even tried to understand this world, but it’s obvious Murphy did, a lot. He’s kind of surprised to be honest, he never thought the boy could be this observant or this passionate about discovering the truth. But maybe, with the right motivation… He saw the look on Murphy’s face when the younger man told him he had a reason to stay in Polis, right before the final fight. He knows that look, the one you have when you care about someone so much you’d do anything for them. Maybe Murphy needed to think about it, needed to understand why the people he cared for weren’t the same anymore. And Bellamy feels so selfish for not doing the same, for not understand that his sister wasn’t only missing a part of herself, but was just a completely different person, one who only wants to belong in a well-organized world where everything is fake. 

“Then you’re right, keeping us alive is useless. It can’t erase our pain, can’t control us, and it would only be logical to kill us, and get done with this. Get rid of the nuisance. It doesn’t make any sense.” Murphy looks at him carefully at that, and his eyes almost seem fond; Bellamy thinks it’s probably only the light hitting them just right. “I was talking about me when I asked that question, not about you. You’re clearly important to her, and her plans. She treats me like I’m a rat, keeping me locked as often as possible, but it’s clearly not your case.” 

“How can you know that?” Murphy loses a little of his confidence at that. “I saw you a few times, I wanted to… Never mind. That’s not important. But I guess nothing really is important in here.”

Bellamy is ready to ask more questions when the smell of Murphy’s cup reaches his nose. “What are you drinking? That’s definitely not coffee.” The younger man smirks at him. “It’s some of Monty’s moonshine.” And really, what the hell? He saw him use the coffee machine. “But how?” 

“It doesn’t work every time, but like I said, everything you do here is just in your brain, and since the key can’t control our whole brain…”

“You actually can control some things in here?” Murphy nods, slightly frowning. “A.L.I.E. hates it, that’s usually at that time she appears and takes me back to my closet. She doesn’t seem to be coming this time.”

“Well, it didn’t want to let you go, so…” Bellamy watches as the last customer leaves the shop, leaving them alone with the barista who’s currently cleaning the counter. It’s strange, the fact that Murphy can’t leave the place while he had to enter it. “Do you think it wanted us to meet?”

“What? I obviously already met you, Bellamy. Is it a weird flirting move or are you turning crazy on me?” The younger man is staring at him, and Bellamy feels the flush on his cheeks.

“I’m definitely not flirting, you would know if I were, and…” But Murphy doesn’t let him finish, “well, it’s certainly interesting, how would you flirt with me, exactly, Bellamy?” The smirk and the smugness are back on his lips, and Bellamy would like to see them disappear, but it’s actually a good look on Murphy, and it kind of reminding him what their relationship were, before everything blew up.

“As if you don’t know. I flirted with you non-stop when we first landed on Earth, and you never returned the feeling.” Murphy shrugs. “I did. But you were flirting with everyone when we first landed. I don’t share well.”

“Who would have thought… Murphy the rebel is actually a softie who wants an exclusive boyfriend.” He makes sure not to add too much sassiness in it, trying not to hurt the younger man, and figuring he will take it badly anyway. But Murphy surprises him. “Or girlfriend. I’m not picky. I just don’t see the point of sleeping around with someone who thinks that I’m not enough.”

That hurts just a little bit. Bellamy knows that Murphy had a difficult time while growing up, and that love wasn’t a thing he received a lot during that period, but he never thought it was that bad. That Murphy actually had the feeling of not being enough for someone to love.

“There would have been no one else if you just had said so…” Bellamy doesn’t know what he expects with that sentence, but the small shrug and the faint “it’s in the past, now” don’t sound like Murphy at all. 

“Sometimes, I wish we could go back to that time.” He realizes how that sounds, and adds, “when there were no grounders, no men from the mountain or A.I to try and kill us. When all of us were still alive and life was easier.”

“Life wasn’t easier back then. It had always been a stupid idea to think that we could all live together in a happy world, even when there wasn’t any other threats. But I guess I understand what you mean. It felt good to think we were free, and able to live our lives, even for a while.”

Bellamy nods, but Murphy can’t see it because the lights suddenly switch off, and Bellamy can’t hear the sound of the door being locked. “Did he just…?” Murphy sounds indignant. “I think he just did.”

“It’s ridiculous! When can I get out of here?” The younger man just has the time to finish his sentence when suddenly their feet don’t touch the floor, and they appears in Bellamy’s kitchen. 

“I hate when she does that!” Murphy is actually lying on the floor, sending glares at the ceiling, and it makes Bellamy smiles a little. He almost look adorable with the faint pout on his lips, and his blue eyes shining with annoyance. He helps him on his feet, grabbing his hands and tugging until the younger man accepts to stand. “Where are we, anyway?”

“In my place. Apparently she wants for us to stay together.” Bellamy thinks he know what that mean, but still goes to the front door, trying to open it. The door stay closed, no matter how hard he pulls at it, and he quickly gives up. Well, it would be interesting…

Murphy who had followed him doesn’t seem to think so, however, and his voice is kind of shaky when he speaks, “we’re trapped here…”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been nearly two months since Bellamy met Murphy in that coffee shop, nearly two months since they became unwilling roommates. The first two week or so were kind of unsettling, with Murphy throwing all he could grab to the door, screaming at A.L.I.E. to let them out. And, it wasn’t really surprising for Murphy to be angry, but he looked so distressed that it worried Bellamy.

 

Until he found the younger man crying and shouting while lying next to the door, and he decided to do something about it. He sat Murphy down on the couch, and tried to make the boy opening up to him. It took sometimes, but eventually Murphy told him about his time in the bunker, when the A.I kept him captive for weeks, and he thought he would never ever go out of this. Bellamy hold him against his chest, trying to ease his shivers. At that time, he remembered that Murphy was still just a boy who lived too much nasty things, that been through too much, no matter how well he could hide it, and how he could keep a smirk on his lips even in the worst moments.

 

After that episode, Murphy was always a bit uneasy while being around him, throwing him apprehensive looks, as if now that Bellamy knew that the younger man could feel vulnerable he would take advantage of it. It was weird to say the least, watching Murphy so cautious around him, and snapping at him for small things. It was like their relationship was back to day one, back when they first all lived in Jaha Camps. But Bellamy also had his fears, because everyday he was expecting Octavia to return home, but she never did. And, he tried to call A.L.I.E. just so many times to ask it if his sister was still alive. The computer never answered his calls, though, and he was left with the worry that his sister would never come back.

 

During the fourth week, he had to prevent Murphy to jump through the window. When the younger man had the foolish idea that maybe his death in the virtual world would make him wake up. “Let me go, Bellamy. And if I crash on the pavement, you’ll know not to do it.” He succeeded at holding Murphy back that day, but a week later, still not having heard any news from Octavia, he was almost tempted to try it himself. He actually threw a chair against the window but it just bounced on it, leaving the glass intact.

 

Murphy was the one to look at him like he was crazy in that moment, and they finally agreed to talk about their current situation. Both of them decided that they couldn’t go on like this, that they needed to accept the fact they were, for the time being, locked in the apartment, and that things just would be easier if they worked together. Murphy taught him about transforming some details in their reality, like transforming the soup in alcohol, but no matter how much they tried to make the door open, even together at the same time, it never did it.

 

The situation isn’t ideal, and they would probably give anything to be able to get out, but at least they got each other, and for that Bellamy is grateful. Murphy is really fun to have around when he’s not feeling at risk, and they spend hours talking, about anything really, and more often than not with Murphy mocking him lightly, especially for his love of history. They also took the habit to sleep together, initially to keep Murphy from waking up alone and screaming in the middle of the night, but now it seems that both of them just continue this ritual because it feels nice to have someone with who cuddle during the night.

 

The younger man is currently in the bathroom, though, showering, and Bellamy is bored. He already tried to get A.L.I.E. to give him news about his sister, unsuccessfully, and he’s tired of reading the same books every day. So, he’s lying on the couch, in a self-pity party where he wonders if what he has done was really bad enough to make him deserve this (if he’s honest with himself, he knows the punishment isn’t bad enough to make up for all the wrong decisions he made, and the actions he’ll always regret). That is until Murphy comes out, stark naked, hair still wet, and stands in front of Bellamy, blue eyes glaring at him.

 

Bellamy gulps at the sight, not understanding what he did to be worthy of _this_ , but then Murphy speaks and sounds far from happy. “Do you think it’s funny? Why did you remove all the towels?”

 

“What? I haven’t.” He should perhaps try to be more convincing, because he did not take the towels, but well… It’s kinda hard to concentrate when his mind is just full with “hot, hot, hot”. His eyes rakes over Murphy’s chest, breath hitching. He often had dreams that started like that, back when they landed on Earth… “Are you seriously ogling my body, right now? I swear, Bellamy… Just give me a towel.”

 

“Well, it’s a really nice body.” Bellamy’s eyes move up towards Murphy’s face, and he snaps out of his daze when he sees the younger man’s furious expression. “I promise you I didn’t enter the bathroom when you were in there. It’s not me. Maybe A.L.I.E. did.”

 

“Of course, because she’s the one who wants to see me nak… Wait, could this be a new form of punishment, like an humiliation or something?” Bellamy shrugs, “I don’t really see how this is humiliating. You obviously look good, and it’s just the two of us anyway.”

 

“I’m sick of her little games, two can play like that! Get undress!” Bellamy is suddenly very interested by the discussion, but he can’t help but to feel a bit wary. “Your move against it is to get me undressed, too?”

 

“Yes! I’m not letting myself be intimidated by that machine. She wants us to be naked? Fine! Then we will be!” Bellamy looks at him with wide eyes, wondering if he has to intervene before Murphy actually becomes crazy, or if the younger boy is just fucking with him. “You do know, you have clothes you could wear, right? Or borrow mine, I don’t mind, either.”

 

Murphy’s anger deflates at that, and if Bellamy didn’t know better he would have thought that his cheeks were just a bit redder that usual. “Oh. Right, I’ll do that.” He’s out of the room as fast as he can without actually running. He doesn’t return to the room after that, and Bellamy is all about leaving him some space, but after an hour or so, he’s tracking him down on what was Octavia’s bed. The thought of his baby sister makes his heart clenches painfully, but he doesn’t let it stop him. He finds the younger man sitting with his back against the headboard, reading what seems to be an old comics. He sets it asides when he hears Bellamy, though, looking a bit sheepishly at him.

 

“I may have a bit overreacted earlier.” Bellamy raises his eyebrows because _a little?_ “Okay, a lot, I’m sorry. I just… I can’t take it anymore, I wish she could change me into a zombie, so I don’t have to feel so helpless all the time.” And really, Bellamy’s heart breaks a little at that. He joins Murphy on the bed, sitting close to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders when the younger man doesn’t flinch away from him.

 

“I know it’s hard, and honestly I don’t think I could do it without you. But we’re in this together, right? We’ll make it through.” Murphy’s head falls on his shoulder, and Bellamy wants nothing more than hold the younger boy against him until all his fears are gone, but the fact Murphy is allowing them to be cute is so unlike him that it actually makes Bellamy move. “Come on, let’s go watch a movie or something, it will get your mind off of things for a while.”

 

Murphy shrugs, but raises his head from Bellamy, and stands to go to the restroom. He have nearly made it to the couch when he suddenly freezes. “Bellamy, tell me you see it, too.” Not understanding what he’s talking about, Bellamy follows after him, joining him until he sees it. The door, the front door, which had been locked for so long is wide open. Murphy and he move at the same time, making an exit out of the apartment.

 

They look at each other once they’re in the corridor, wide eyes and mouth open, and really they must look ridiculous, but none of them care at the moment. Murphy is suddenly laughing. A real laugh, one Bellamy never heard from the younger man, and really if he was fond before, he’s smitten now. But he doesn’t have time to think more about it, because then Murphy is pulling him towards his body, and his lips crash into his.

 

And, well, Bellamy may have thought about that moment a lot, he’s still surprised it’s really happening. He expected Murphy to kiss like he talks, with as much aggressiveness as sassiness, but it’s not like that at all. The younger man is definitely determined and teasing, but his lips are also soft and not in a hurry. So really, Bellamy can’t be blamed when he kisses back, letting his hands stroking Murphy’s back, and waist, and… And it’s over as quick as it had begun, the younger man pulling away, a slight smirk on his cherry red lips.

 

“Not bad.” He raises his eyebrows at Bellamy before turning around, hurtling down the stairs, and the older man has to run to keep up with him. “Not bad? Please, I’m excellent, you just didn’t kiss me enough to find out!” He shouts to Murphy’s back, and he can hear the younger man laughing. Then he opens the building front door, and they’re out, on the pavement, and Bellamy suddenly realizes how much he missed it. The wind tousling his hair, and the feeling of the sun on his skin… For most part of his life, he didn’t even know about those things, but now, going without them seems unreal and unimaginable.

 

It’s when he realizes that Murphy is probably feeling the same. His face is raised towards the sky while his eyes are closed, and a small smile stretches his lips. A real smile, not a smirk or what he usually does when he’s mocking someone, and Bellamy is struck once again by how beautiful Murphy really is. Then the younger man opens his eyes, letting the pure blue pools find Bellamy, and the sight becomes breathtaking.

 

“Don’t look at me like that, I’ll believe you go back to your flirting ways. Come on, I want to be as far as possible from those building. Let’s go see the lake.” And Bellamy could probably find something smart to answer, but it’s the first time he sees Murphy acting so happy, and that makes him so happy that, at the moment, he would probably agree to follow the younger man through space if he asked him to. So they go to the lake, walking side by side, and if they stand a little too close and if their arms happen to rub together at every step, none of them complains. 

 

Bellamy has to admit that the computer didn’t do a bad job when it comes to the places it built in their minds. It’s night by the time they arrived, the full-moon illuminating the path, and reflecting on the surface of the lake. The park that surrounds it is well-organized, with flowerbeds and trees covered by small lights that accentuate the otherworldly atmosphere. On top of that, there are some fireflies fluttering about the lake. It’s really… romantic, if Bellamy dares say so. He nearly expects Murphy to run away at the scene, but the younger boy seems to aim to surprise.

 

He grabs Bellamy’s shoulders, and pushes him gently down on the ground until he’s lying on it. “It’s wet,” the older man grumbles, but Murphy soon lies to his side, using Bellamy’s hard chest as a pillow, and hugging him with one arm. “Just think it’s not, and it won’t.” That seems too easy, and Bellamy is almost embarrassed by the fact that it actually works.

 

“Would you flirt with me if I wasn’t the only one not being affected by the key?” The words are said in a nonchalant way, like his answer doesn’t really matter and like it’s a mundane question. But he knows Murphy enough to be aware that it’s far from the truth. The younger man did care that he flirted with a lot of people in the past, and it’s a shame Murphy doesn’t realize how much Bellamy is gone for him, really.

 

“I meant it, you know,” Murphy doesn’t look up at him, but Bellamy can feel him tense in his arms, “there would have be no other if I could’ve have you.”  The older man lets one of his hand tousle in Murphy’s hair, stroking lightly the soft strands. “There will be no one else, if you want me.”

 

For a long time Murphy doesn’t answer but he doesn’t pull away either, seeming fine in Bellamy’s arms. “How can I know for sure that it’s real?” And really, his question makes sense, because how can they fight something that is in their brain…

 

“You can’t, I guess. I’m not sure myself sometimes, but then I look at you, and I just know. Because, no matter how A.L.I.E. is good at manipulating us, and controlling our environment, it’s still a computer, just a series of numbers. It can fake feelings but it will never understand them. But you, you wear your feelings on your face, and you still surprise me, every day, because you’re never what I expect you to be. I love that, that feeling of new and unexpected every time I’m with you. And it’s not just here, you always gave me those feelings. That’s why I always have been drown to you, and I don’t want it to end.” He realizes he’s babbling at the end, speaking way too much, and saying things that could make the younger man run away as fast as possible, but maybe it’s time for him to be honest, even if it scares Murphy away for a little bit. He won’t stop, he won’t back down this time. Because he knows what he wants, what he needs, and he’s not letting himself screwing up everything ever again.

 

Murphy doesn’t say anything, but he raises his face, pulling himself up, and his lips crash with Bellamy’s. He moves so his body is entirely covering Bellamy’s, while his tongue finds its way into the older man’s mouth. This kiss is nothing like their first one, earlier in the day. It’s hot, and passionate, and everything Bellamy wants. Murphy has got one hand in his hair, tugging the dark curls, while the other one is slipping under his t-shirt, stroking every bit of tan skin, and flicking his small nipples. And Bellamy is almost embarrassed by how fast he gets turned on, but really all his naughty dreams are just coming true, and he can’t be bothered at the time.

 

It’s so good, and it’s gets even better when Murphy slips one of his legs between Bellamy’s, allowing their trapped cocks to rub against the other tight. He can feel that the younger man is really into it, too, his hard-on providing exquisite friction on his, while his smart mouth is still devouring his, tongue licking and teeth nipping. It’s only when he becomes a bit light-haired because of the lack of oxygen than Bellamy allows himself to pull away in order to breathe, the younger man’s lips moving to his neck. The big inspiration turning into an half moan when Murphy’s hips roll against him at the same time that his mouth sucks hard on a really soft spot under his jaw.

 

Bellamy loses it after that, forgetting all about the fact they are in the middle of a park, and slipping a hand between their bodies, into Murphy’s pants. It’s a tight fit, but finally his fingers close around Murphy’s cock, stroking the soft skin gently, and making the younger man whine slightly.

 

“It does feel very real,” Murphy pants against his cheeks, and Bellamy hums, “I’m really glad you think so.” A light smile finds its way on the younger man’s lips before he’s kissing him, again. Bellamy is trying to keep a rhythm with his hand on Murphy’s cock, but then the other man is opening his pants and pushing them lower, freeing Bellamy from the tightened piece of clothing, and he kind of loses his mind. But Murphy is already doing the same with his, and putting his own hand on top of Bellamy’s, gripping their both cocks firmly so they can rub together.

 

And Bellamy thinks he could cry, because the feeling is heavenly, and the fact that it’s Murphy, while the younger man is the star of many of his fantasies since they landed on Earth, is making it ten times better. He’s a little bit embarrassed by how close he is already, but he can also feel Murphy’s desperation by his jerky movements, and the quick rolling of his hips against his.

 

In the end, neither of them last very long, but it’s all so satiating than none seems to care. Bellamy muffles a high groan against Murphy’s lips, feeling light-headed while covering their hands with hot spurts, and all it takes is Murphy looking at the mess he made before the younger man is coming, too, lying boneless on top of him.

 

Bellamy is wandering on what cleaning his hand, when he’s surprised to see the evidence of their previous activity slowly disappearing. He looks eyes wide at Murphy, and finds the younger man with a small, but very smug, smile on his face. So he just hums, actually really impressed, before wrapping his arms around Murphy, stroking his back, while they try to catch their breath, “I almost regret to have said no for so long.” Bellamy presses a kiss against his hair, a goofy smile on his lips. “It really took you long enough.”

 

After a moment, and with a last kiss, Murphy pulls away, and Bellamy can help but feel cold without his body heat on top of him. But the younger man doesn’t go far, rolling so he’s lying next to Bellamy, and holding his hand, his thumb drawing slow circles on the tan skin.

 

They stay like that a long time, bodies touching, hands clasped together, looking at the sky. And for the first time since they lost their battle against the A.I., Bellamy is happy with his life, feeling like maybe things can get better.

 

* * *

 

 

“What are you doing, Bellamy?” The older man just has the time to close the door before Murphy can see what he’s doing in the tiny kitchen. “Don’t come, I’m not finished, yet.”

 

“Finished? I swear Bell, if you’re trying to make me sit through your idea of a romantic dinner with candles and roses…” Bellamy laughs briefly, even through the door, he can see his boy rolling his eyes. “You what? Will kiss me?”

 

“Maybe, if you’re good. But I’ll make you eat your rose petals first.” He finally finishes to light the white candles in the middle of the table, and finds his way to the door, opening it slightly. “Well, I didn’t use flowers, but I can add some if you really wish.” Murphy is looking unimpressed, but then his blue eyes take in the kitchen, and Bellamy can read the surprise and appreciation in them.

 

He didn’t do much, just cooked for half an hour, turned off the light, and lighted up a few candles, but it gives a really nice atmosphere to the room, if he says so himself. And he’s a little bit proud of himself for that. Tonight is their two months anniversary. And, he knows Murphy complains all the time about his romantic gestures and sappy concepts of relationship, but he also knows that the younger man loves it, even if he’d die before admitting it.

 

“You know, you already get into my pants on a daily basis, you don’t need to try to woo me anymore.” Bellamy wraps his arms around the younger man’s thin waist, pulling him to his body. “Yeah, but is it working?” Murphy rolls his eyes, but he’s also smiling, and putting his arms around Bellamy’s neck, “Maybe.”

 

Theirs lips find each other, gently and slowly at first, until the younger man licks his way into his mouth, and Bellamy almost forgets his chaste and romantic plans. He pulls away with a groan, and difficulty, like it’s the last thing he wants to do. It kind of is, especially when he sees the frown between his lover’s eyes.

 

“It’s going to get cold, come on.” Murphy rolls his eyes at that, but he’s smiling faintly again.

 

They eat together in their lovely atmosphere, talking about their day, no matter the fact that they were with each other during the most part of it. Bellamy is listening to Murphy telling him about the movie he watched earlier, and his theories about the fact that it’s so marvelous that A.L.I.E. can show them movies they never saw before, just by plugging it into their minds – even if she’s still a bitch! But, maybe that having a massive computer on his brain can have its perks, too.

 

The food is good, eating it with the nice candle light reflecting on their faces is better, and the company is the best. At this moment, Bellamy wonders why it seemed so impossible before, him and Murphy, because it’s so obvious they’re meant for each other in that instant that Bellamy is pretty sure his heart is exploding. He hates this world, and the fact that nothing apart from them is real anymore, but somehow he still loves it too, because they make sense, they are real, what he’s feeling for Murphy is real, and in the end maybe it’s the most important.

 

He's about to speak, voicing his thought, his heart fluttering, when the light come off, and he’s in the dark. He can’t see anything, but he knows he’s not in the flat anymore. He’s alone, cold and blind.

 

“What the hell? What are you doing?” He screams at no one, knowing that the computer can hear him, wherever it is. A light suddenly appears, making him blink quickly in pain before he can see again. A.L.I.E. stand before him, red dress and empty eyes, like always.

 

“Your capacities are needed on the Earth. You just have to swear allegiance to me, and I’ll bring you to your sister.”

 

“Are you kidding me? You left for months without any kind of news from my sister, and now you want me to what? Swear allegiance? What is even that crap? You’re trying to revive the medieval system?” He’s just so done with all of this, and most of all, he wants the people he loves to be okay. “I want to see my sister and Murphy. I won’t do anything for you before I can see they are okay. Where are they?”

 

He’s finishing his sentence when Octavia appears, bouncing on her steps and a big smile on her lips. She looks like the teenage girl she was on the Ark, and not like the grounder warrior she was trying so hard to become before the City of Lights. “Why so serious, Bell?”

 

“Why? You were gone for four months, doesn’t it matter at all to you?” His sister raises her eyebrows, looking at him like he just told a good joke. “I was only gone for four days. Relax, Bell. Alie needed me on Earth, but I’m here now. Gosh, always so protective.”

 

“But it’s been four months.” Octavia frowns “No.” She then turns to A.L.I.E. expecting the computer to explain. He can’t believe his sister really feels like it’s only been a few days. And he surely cannot believe whatever the A.I has to say about that.

 

“It’s been four days outside the City of Lights.” A.L.I.E. agrees. He wants to yell, wants to say that’s not possible, and that it’s lying, but why “What…? But how?” Bellamy’s voice breaks a little, his brain overwhelmed by the implication of what the computer is saying. Four days? How can he have months of memories with Murphy, if it’s only been four days. It just…

 

“Time doesn’t pass the same way in the City of Lights and on Earth. It’s important its inhabitants feel rested, and have the impression of staying longer in the City than on Earth.” Of course, it’s just another trick to manipulate people. What he doesn’t understand is why… Why it’s so important for the A.I. to be in control at every time, and what it’s so important to be done on Earth. He always thought the zombies were just trying to turn even more people at their cause, but maybe it’s something else, after all… He wishes Murphy could be there, the younger man always having crazy theories about everything, and Bellamy has to admit that a lot of them were true in the end.

 

“Where is Murphy?” His sister looks at him strangely, a flash of the real Octavia shining in her eyes, then she raises her shoulders and returns to her perky oneself. It actually lights up a little bit of hope inside Bellamy’s heart. Maybe… Maybe it’s possible to break A.L.I.E. influence after all, maybe the A.I isn’t that strong, especially for so many people, maybe that’s why it’s using so many tricks to keep them happy in the City.

 

“I want to see Murphy! And for what do you need my help for, anyway?” Murphy appears then, looking small and scared even if he put out his smirk and his brave face. There are cuts on his face, and evidence that his nose bled. Bellamy doesn’t even think and closes the distance between them, hugging the younger man to his chest. “You okay?”

 

“Yes…” Murphy wraps his arms around his waist, returning his hug, and that makes Bellamy even more worry. He pulls away a little bit to look at his wounded face. “What had it done to you?” His thumb traces Murphy’s cheek, following gently the red line that goes through it.

 

“She made me relive my stay at the Grounders.” His voice is small, and so far away from his usual teasing tone, that Bellamy’s heart aches. “It’s gonna be okay, love. I promise, we will go back on Earth, and we’ll be okay.” He pulls the younger man closer, and Murphy just tightens his arms around his waist, his face in Bellamy’s neck, and the once leader of the hundred can feel tears against his skin.

 

It makes him want to destroy the A.I, piece by piece, until there’s nothing of it left. The anger and rage to break something are so strong inside of him that it actually calms him. The computer doesn’t understand a thing about feelings, it can’t understand why it just made its biggest mistake by hurting the one Bellamy loves. And that’s why it won’t see him coming, it won’t be able to comprehend why it’s so important for him to see it gone. It has no chance against him, because his only motivation will be to end the computer.

 

“I will accept. I will swear allegiance to you, but I want guaranties. First of all, Murphy and I stay on Earth, no more City of Lights, you’ll find us when you need me. Secondly, I want to see my sister every day, whatever she’s doing for you at the time. Thirdly, never hurt someone I love, again.” This last part sounds more like a growl, but the A.I doesn’t seem phased by it.

 

It doesn’t answer, but suddenly they’re not in the dark room anymore, but seeing the Earth from space, a sight they know both too well, except it’s not the same that it used to be. While everything was in blue and green before, there are several big red points on its surface. “The Earth is dying. It is caused by failing nuclear power plants all around the world, and we will need each other help.”

 

“That’s why Clarke said yes.” The A.I nods, confirming his suspicion. “Now that I have your attention and allegiance, we have work to do.”

 

The spaceship around them suddenly disappear, and they find themselves in Polis, people running everywhere without crossing. Everything and everyone are ordered, nothing seems out of place. Like an army of zombies.

 

“Well, at least we’re not stuck in our heads anymore.” Murphy sounds as sassy as ever, but Bellamy can tell his heart is not in it. The younger boy put some distance between them while they were in space, and Bellamy closes it to wrap an arm against his waist.

 

“It’s more than that, love. We’re free.”  

 

Murphy lets out a dark laugh, shaking his head. “It’s so fucked up. You really think she will step down once the end of the world is prevented? She'll just find another excuse to keep control over everyone.”

 

Bellamy smiles, moving a hand to Murphy’s cheek. “That’s the thing, she doesn’t have control over _everybody_.” The younger boy rolls his eyes, but a slight smirk is back on his lips. “So, what’s the plan?”

 

“We save the world, then we find a way to fight A.L.I.E.”

 

Murphy snorts. “And we’ll live happily ever after?!”

 

“Please. It’s us, there’s no way that could ever be true. We will have rough patches, mostly because we’re dicks. But I love you, and I’ll be more than happy to have you as my dick.” The younger man’s smirk has never been so big, but his eyes are so fond that Bellamy can forgive him for mocking him. “You know how bad that sounds, right?” He rolls his eyes, but kisses Murphy anyway, “Don’t ruin our moment, and admit you love me too.”

 

Murphy kisses him back, laughing, but Bellamy is quite positive he hears a “I love you too” whispered against his lips. And he meant what he said about probably not having a happily ever after, but he’s pretty sure that whatever they have to go through, being together will always be worth the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading me till the end. I can only apologized for the time it took me to write this second part. To be honest, I had a hard time, because I really want for it to be good, and my poor English frustrates me a lot. So, if someone would be kind enough to help me correct all the mistakes I made in this story, I should be forever grateful ;)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it even just a bit. If you want to ask me something, or comment, please do. I would love to read from you.
> 
> Thank you very much!
> 
> Pauline.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this. I hope you liked it, and that it wasn't too confusing. Feel free to ask me questions, I'll be more than happy to answer them.
> 
> Also, there will be a part two, that may or may not contain smut, I'm still not sure about it, that will hopefully be finished soon enough.
> 
> Thank you again!  
> xoxo


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